I started Eat Happy to help get you into a happy balance with your eating. To feel at peace and at ease with food!
Because that was NOT me at all.
Rewind to many years ago when I was in university, and I was in a real state. From high school onward, I started to obsess with my weight. It was so easy to do, I saw thin models all around me in magazines and on TV, and for some reason or other, doubted my ability to perform any skilled tasks. This lead me very easily down the path of super narrow focus – and the object of my focus was weight and food. I kept food diaries from 15 years old until my twenties. I knew that food had the power to make me thin – and being thin would make me happy. But I loved eating because it was what I knew what to do. How could I control this beast of a thing?! So tasty and delicious. But I was NOT ALLOWED IT!
And on it went. I studied my thigh gap more than my textbooks. I wrote more about calories and meals consumed than I did my essay subjects.
I then embarked on a raw food diet in the middle of my degree. It sparked something very primal in me. Just eat real food. And that stopped me focusing on looks and shifted my thinking onto health. I really enjoyed eating that way, but what was more, I enjoyed the community and reading about people doing the same thing. But it was not an easy diet to follow. If I wasn’t 100% raw, was I good enough? What if I ate bread? What if I went to people’s houses? I became very confused about it all, but instead of backing off and trying to find balance, I delved deeper into the murky underworld of the raw food diet and followed the very unhealthy low fat version of the diet. Meaning, I just ate fruit and veg and little else. I ate so much fruit, that I wore the enamel right off of my teeth. You see, I snacked on fruit constantly. I never addressed any real issues behind my eating. I just always concentrated on the food itself, switching from one way of eating to the next, hoping one of them would be my saviour.
Now I know that that was a backwards way to look at it to say the least.
After university, I thank the stars that lead me towards yoga and meditation. This started a much more holistic path for me. I started to connect with me. I read the works of Louise L Hay who’s main message was to re-record negative messages we say to ourselves and to accept ourselves just as we are.
Having my teeth rot in front of my eyes was a huge wake up call for me. A few years later, I went off to America to volunteer on organic farms. But for many years prior to this trip, I had been reading the wonderful work of Geneen Roth, as well as so many books on addictions, food, eating less, and letting go – and -I knew what I needed to do.
I needed to stop food rules – and just EAT.
Nothing was scarier to me, but a voice inside said that this was the way to go.
So whilst volunteering on organic farms in the states, I ate. And ate, and ate! I worked in an organic bakery where the delicious smells of pumpkin spice croissants filled my bedroom every morning, and I was happy to tuck into the mis-shapen leftovers! I gained a lovely round belly – so much so that I had to borrow the maternity clothes of the hostess I was staying with! But somehow – this wasn’t bothering me.
Because I knew – if I could break all my food rules, and just eat whatever I wanted – something magical would happen.
And it did. I realized, nothing was off limits to me. I could eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and in whatever quantity I desired. There was always food, and I could always eat. And I really took advantage of this new way of thinking when I got home. But slowly, the lure and desire of all those foodstuffs slowly vanished. I knew they were there if I wanted them, I didn’t have to deny myself those foods anymore. And just like that, the overly focused view on food, just crumbled away.
Slowly, I realized I was becoming normal about food. It wasn’t scaring me anymore. In fact, what I’d learned in my year of ‘eat anything’ – was self trust. I did have a limit. I didn’t like feeling the bloated feeling from bread, I didn’t like the sugar headaches from sweets – and so with real feedback based on honouring myself – I chose to eat less of those foods. Just like that. No drama, no punishment, no rules. Just respecting myself.
After many years of eating this way, I can now say that I eat happy!
And then it occurred to me, that what I went through was disordered eating. And I was depressed and badly in need of some help back then. I was desperate to be a person who could choose to not eat chocolate, or to eat it in moderation and still somehow be slim. And now I am that person. It happened organically – but I can now eat chocolate, or not. I have stayed the same weight for the last 5+ years. I sometimes choose not to eat too much sugar if I’m feeling ill effects, or to stop coffee if it’s disturbing my sleep. I have chocolate spread in the cupboard right now, and I know if I really want it, I can have it. But – I don’t want it.
I knew that if I went through all that turmoil and upset with my food; I was not the only one. I wanted to reach out to people like me and say “this will pass!” “I know the route out of this hell hole of food confusion, just follow me!” I know I would have loved some guidance when I was a binge eating university student.
is why I created Eat Happy. I know that I have some amazing tools to help people get out of the uncomfortable, upsetting, unbalanced relationship with food. I know exactly how different areas need to be looked at to see how your eating is affecting you, and how you affect your eating. I know the paths out.
I created the Eat Happy Way to guide people out of the dark place which is dieting and controlling food!
I now do 1 on 1 health coaching, workshops and demonstrations as well as lots of exciting writing work to make sure that no one has to go through what I did, where I wasted years of my life counting food numbers and looking at my thighs. I know that life is so much more. It has passion, and love, and kindness, and beauty and wonder – we miss all that when food is clouding our minds.
I hope you find Eat Happy helpful to you.
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Wishing you a lifetime of happy eating!